


Lovenotes

by SpaceNovak



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fluff, Heartbreak, Love Letters, Poetry, These are fuckin embarrassing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 19:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16247924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceNovak/pseuds/SpaceNovak
Summary: A compilation of every love poem I've ever written for my significant others, from age 14 to present.Sappy, cringeworthy, sweet, and cliché.





	1. Once Upon a Memory

What am I to you?  
A question that has never been simple, in meaning and in answer. Once upon a memory, you asked me what you were to me. I told you my truth, that you were everything in life. You were the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins, the pulse of my heart. You were the life in my eyes, the smile on my lips, the laughter in my breath. The life I had was nothing short of a love story gone terribly, terribly wrong. My love for you wore you down, wore you into a pile of nothingness. You no longer wanted my time. You no longer wanted me.

We were insecure; neither one of us believed we were ever going to meet standards. You and I would wonder every day if we were good enough for one another. At the end of each day, we resigned ourselves to knowing that we were never to be, that false hope was poison. It never took away the sting.

I would beg the moon, the stars, the sun, the sky, and the earth that you would realize how fully I gave myself to you. But I could never get you to understand. You were never truly mine, and it was always so obvious. Why, then, did I give myself to you? It's easily explained. Because you drew me in. Because your soul was so radiant, so bright, that I had no choice but to fall in love. I have always needed you; I have always been willing to give you everything.

Once upon a memory, you told me you felt the same. No, I do not believe, you ever truly did. I have asked myself over and over again where I went wrong, what did I do that drove you away from me, how can I fix this, fix us. Instead of receiving an answer, I sit by myself and look to the moon, a quiet melancholy brewing under the surface, where people seldom look to find their answers. I'll cry myself to sleep like so many times before and wonder how I can start again.


	2. Firework

You are a firework,  
brilliant colours, blinding light.  
You ignite emotion and emblazon the sky  
a force of explosive beauty, of intense delight.  
You are a firework,  
Crackling voice and picturesque smile,  
causing lovers to swoon and memories to be made.  
You, who reveal secrets in your starburst eyes  
loud declarations broadcasted in the dead of the night.  
You are a firework,  
a burst of evanescent purity among fading stars.  
You ripple across the ocean of darkness  
illuminating truth and perfection in your wake.

You are a firework,  
screaming hope and bright ideals,  
but you are not fast-fading.  
Instead,  
you have imprinted yourself into the atmosphere  
refusing to be forgotten by all.

You have made yourself into a constellation;  
However, instead of making the night your home,  
You have made your place in me.


	3. Perfection

You are PERFECT.  
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  
People love to get that sense of power over another person because it makes them feel more secure and confident about themselves.  
To me, that's the ultimate form of cowardliness.  
It's a disgrace to the human race to put down others just for their own benefit.  
And furthermore, allow me to share a secret:  
They don't actually know you.  
That's right, they don't.  
Because if they did, they would see nothing but a big heart, loving and welcoming arms, and a deep sense of right and wrong, with an undying hope for life.  
They would see perfection at its finest.  
There is no beauty as strong or perfect than a wonderful person who is aware and sure of themselves, who has an open heart and soul, ready to welcome another into their life as a beloved friend and companion.  
There is no other beauty that is as dazzling to see.  
To see that beauty reflected in a smile.  
To see that beauty reflected in a pair of eyes.  
To see that beauty reflected in actions, and in the amount of drive someone has.  
You are exactly what you are supposed to be.  
You are exactly yourself.  
You are perfect.  
And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  
I love you just the way you are, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  
All of my love for you, and only you.


	4. Won't / Will

I won't make you my profile picture.  
I won't put you on my blog as the background photo,  
or turn you into my Facebook banner;  
I won't make you the subject of every art piece I ever craft,  
nor will you be the main topic of my conversations.  
I won't ignore my friends in favour of you  
and I won't place you on a pedestal.  
You won't be the first thing I think of when I wake up  
nor will you be the last thing before I go to sleep.  
I won't list your name under the entry that I have defined as “me”.  
I won't ever make you into the reason for my existence.  
I just don't see the point.

However...

I will hold you against me like you're the balm to every crack in my facade.  
I will tell you everything you've ever wanted to hear.  
I'll show you in a portrait every beautiful facet of your personality  
and I'll prove to you how the cosmos can be found in your eyes  
or how there is stardust embedded into your bones.  
I'll show you how your body is made from the dust of coal  
and how the pressures of earth have made you into a diamond.  
I'll etch my name into your skin with kisses  
and wear down your hard lines.

I'll give you everything you have ever needed but never wanted,  
and I'll give you nothing you have ever wanted but never needed  
but only because they're so ridiculous.  
I'll hold your heart in the palm of my hands like it's the single most precious item in the world.

When I wake up, I'll press my ear up to your chest so that I can hear your life course through your veins:  
I'll kiss every scar you have,  
and I'll purge hateful memories with blessed ones.

I'll make you flowers and spray them with perfumes so they make up for being fake  
and write you a sappy poem about how “my love will die when the flowers die”,  
And then I'll freak out when they're set on fire or soaked in water during a fight.  
I'll hold you in my arms when you cry, and tell you how amazing I know you are.

I'll take every one of your insecurities and turn them into strengths:  
I'll forge you battle armor in the shape of assurance;  
I'll make you a sword out of your bottled up pain and hate,  
and I'll build you a health kit out of my love and support.

I'll make you soup when you're sick  
and bring it to you in bed.  
I'll coo and croon to you about how perfect you are [even though you won't feel like it].  
I'll watch your favourite TV shows with you  
and maybe show you some of mine;  
I'll cuddle you on our couch  
and maybe make out like teenagers  
while I quote really cheesy fanfiction.  
I'll call us the ship names of our OTP's,  
and we'll stay up all night rediscovering how to get lost in each other.

I'll take you out at twilight and show you a nebula, so small in the sky yet more vibrant than any firework could ever hope to be.  
I will remind you that even if you feel small you're still the biggest and most important thing in my life.

Because  
even though I won't turn you into the reason for my existence,  
or make you into the definition of “me”,  
I can make you the definition of “universe”.  
And really, that should be enough.


	5. Anyone but You

It was something simple,  
Some sort of question you had asked,  
And I had answered without even thinking.  
But the look you gave me  
Caused my breath to catch  
And my heart to stutter.  
Because I had never been looked at  
Like you had then.  
You had looked at me  
like I held the secrets of the world in my hands  
and in that moment I knew;  
there could never be anyone,  
 _anyone_ ,  
but you.


	6. You Are

You are my atmosphere;  
You are my sun, moon, and earth.  
You are the air I breathe,  
The water I drink,  
And the food I eat.  
You are the blood in my veins,  
And the synapses that fire in my brain.  
You are my home;  
You are the place I will always belong.  
You are my hopes and dreams,  
The desires I grab at  
And the fears that keep me up at night.  
You are the best fantasy,  
And the most terrifying nightmare.  
You are my life;  
You are my truth and my religion.  
You are the needs I meet,  
The goals I set,  
And the challenges I face.  
You are my soulmate,  
And you are my reason for trying.


	7. Split Second

When I first saw you  
Everything stopped--  
The world _tilted_ ,  
Time s l o w e d,  
Everything lost colour.  
Everything fell silent.  
My heart stopped,  
Breathing slowed,  
No feeling,  
Pupils dilated.  
Stumble forward,  
Mouth open;  
No words come,  
Heavy breathing,  
Wild eyes,  
Crazy hair,  
Flushed face,  
I only see you.  
Stutter out my name-  
Pulse? Through the roof-  
Hyperventilate;  
"What's wrong with me?"  
Warm all over,  
This is my End, game over.  
Balance gone,  
World off kilter,  
All the colour is in you.  
Restart, player one, new game:  
"What would you like to name your file?"  
A grin; I lost my breath, and suddenly I knew.  
I think I would like to be called "Yours".  
When I first saw you, I fell in love-  
And you smiled because you knew.


	8. Dove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This actually placed in a contest I submitted it to and is a published poem. I wrote this when I was 14, which is why it's absolute shit.

My love,  
My life.  
Little dove,  
Do you know  
Why I fight?  
Beautiful girl,  
So beautifully broken,  
And yet,  
Alive in my heart.  
It is because of you  
That I start the riot,  
To protect and keep you safe.  
My perfection,  
My light,  
Hasn't anyone told you  
That you are soft and pleasant like the night?  
Sweetest darling,  
How sad it is -I know-  
That words cannot describe  
How my love forever grows.


	9. You & I

You and I  
Are my number one OTP.  
I write fanfictions in my head  
About the days we could share,  
And the memories we could make.  
You and I  
Are my best dreams.  
I can sleep forever  
When you're running my sleepy fantasies,  
When I can pretend that I'm holding you.  
You and I  
Are my most heartfelt wish.  
I pray for the chance you could feel the same.  
That you'll someday say you love me,  
That you'll finally choose me.

You and I  
Are my bittersweet desire.  
I watch you talk to others  
Purposefully seeing if they're the one,  
Painfully aware that you will never see  
Just how much you mean to me.  
You and I  
Were the last hope I had left.  
Now it is just you,  
Because I died  
To make sure you found your one  
Like I found mine,  
Hoping yours would love you back  
Unlike mine,  
Who never knew.


	10. Soulmate

This love for you is infinite, flowing like a constant river of endless joy and bliss every time I think of you.  
My heart stops when I see your eyes, your smile and I feel as though my heart will rip itself from my chest with more ecstasy than you could ever possibly imagine.  
I feel like singing when we're together, and I truly believe that if you were to bottle up my love for you, it would be more than enough to destroy the universe and create a new one.   
You are a constant source of love and light and belonging in my life, and I don't know what I'd do without you. Surely I would fall apart, and no longer exist.  
You are half of me, the reason I live, the reason I fight, the reason for me. We are bound together by some means or fashion, I know that much.  
I don't deserve any of your greatness, any of your wonder, let alone your love.   
Why you chose me will never make sense, but I will not question it because it is a wonderous gift the gods have given me. I thank them every day for my most beloved and cherished thing; you.  
There isn't a thing I wouldn't give to keep you safe, happy. I worship the very ground you walk on, the air you breathe, the smiles you give out on a whim, everything. I love you. One day I’ll prove it to you.


	11. Indescribable

I don’t think that there is a word that can describe the all-encompassing adoration and devotion I have towards you. It’s undeniable, overpowering, pure, deep and almost desperate. There aren’t enough emotion-inducing pictures of nature or feels about OTPs to describe how much I love you. The words don’t exist; humankind has never reached this level. It’s all-encompassing, the constant niggling in the back of my mind: I love you, I love you, you’re everything and more, I love you. Love isn’t good enough. Love is weak in comparison. Love is frail and useless; this is strength and passion and righteousness and courage. It’s motivation and help, a driving force for my life. You’re so perfect,and wonderful that I hardly ever know what to do with myself around you. I’m not worthy of your love, but you give it anyway. I am often speechless, stunned, shocked when you silence me with a sudden and new tenderness that I’ve never seen before. You’re gorgeous and kind and everything a person needs to be in life. I cannot wait until we start the next day of the rest of our lives together. Maybe sometime then I’ll find a word that can properly describe how much I adore you.


	12. Unrequited

You are a beautiful day dream,  
The place where I don't belong.  
You are my sunlight,  
But the sun is gone.

You are the shine a supernova,   
too bright for my eyes.  
You are made of innocence, the purest truth,  
But I am of sin and sorrow and lies.

You are immortality, the fountain of unending joy,  
My own reflection age and sorrow.  
You are the experience of today,  
But I am the promise of no tomorrow.

You are every person's dream,  
Though I know this you will not see.  
You're all I ever wanted,  
But I know it's not to be.

You are blind to me,  
for you cannot see how   
Ardently I love thee.


	13. Prayer

If I was the kind to pray, you would be the recipient to each and every one of them. On my knees I would stay, asking you for your love and your healing presence. I’d beg and plead for you to help me, fix me, tell me I am worth something, let me know that I am not a waste of space, that my air is not taken in vain, that I have a purpose, that you will give me one if I do not. I would pray to you every day, with every errant thought I had. “I wonder how she’s doing today,” “I hope that she’s happy,” “I love her so much it hurts,” “She’s my everything.” You would get them all, realize how you have a permanent place in my mind, in my heart, in my soul. There is nothing more important to me than you. You’re a saviour without trying. Goddess, if there was a way to let you know it truly. I love you. I love you so much it rips me apart and stitches me back together again. I love you. I love you.


	14. Worship

I want to write you something, but I don’t want to write it in ink; no, I want to trace the words into your hips, press my thoughts into your skin with my fingertips, speak metaphors into your shoulders, rub all my feelings into your bones, breathe my love into your soul like it’s the only thing that exists in the universe. I want you to feel the echoes of my adoration in the beginnings of your body, in the smallest and newest cells that are created to give you life.   
I want you to know how much I love you inherently, like you know your own name, like you know how to breathe, like you know how to cry and laugh and scream and, oh, how I want to scream; I want to scream until my voice is raw, until I can’t hear myself anymore, until blood is coating my vocal chords, until everyone on this planet feels and hears how violently, how vehemently I love and adore you; I want you to shudder with the intensity, to feel it coat every bit of you until I consume you with all my love, with all my being.   
I want to show you how much I adore you with my body, with the way I move and the touch of my hands, with the look from my eyes and the sigh of my breath. I want to tear myself apart and give you my essence so that you feel and see and hold all my love for you in the palm of your hands. I want to etch myself into every facet of your skin, into every inch of you until I disappear and meld into you like I know I could; until we’re one in the way we once were, until the stardust we are made of is together side by side again.  
I want to write you something, but I don’t want to write it in ink; no, I want to write my love in you, in every part of you, until there’s nothing left to write.   
Will you let me?


	15. Scream

Sometimes I feel like if I scream loud enough, the universe will shake. And if the universe shook with just a scream, who knows what would happen when I gave a purpose to my shout? I’m so sure that if I scream your name to the skies, thunder will clap and lightning will strike and the mountains will bow and the trees will dance with the wind and the earth will beseech me to spare her my emotion because it is too powerful, too strong, too pure for this world. You are the greatest driving force I have ever known; with you fueling my every move, I’m unstoppable, unbeatable. And you must know by now, that every single thing I do, is always, always, for you.


	16. Wistfulness

I wish I was there right now, sitting, laying, curled up next to you. I wish I was there, lazily playing with your hair or kissing your shoulder, your forehead, your nose; I was I was doing the soft, simple, sweet things couples do. I wish, I wish. I wish I was beside you always, every day, constantly there to see you smile, to hear your laugh, to know every facet of you as inherently as I know my own. I wish I was there beside you, I always do, I always want to be there with you and it kills me that I’m not, it rips me apart and makes me so sad and I wish that I could change that yesterday, a month ago, a year; I can’t though, and I wish that was different. I love you, I miss you every day, more and more. I’m waiting for the days where I wake up and you’re right there next to me. I’m waiting for our fairytale ending to our fairytale romance. I adore you. I miss you. I love you.  
Don’t forget that I’m here.   
Don’t forget me.  
Please.


	17. Resolute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Read My Mind by The Killers

I don’t mind what people say, as long as you don’t mind. And I won’t shine unless you shine. I am with you, every step of the way, Your happiness is my happiness, your joy is my joy. You are just so apart of me that it’s a bit terrifying, but how can something that feels so right, so inherently correct, be wrong? I don’t know, so I stay strong by what I know; I love you, and that’s never going to change. I will follow you wherever you want to go. Until the stars we are made of are forgotten by the universe, I will stand by your side for as long as you will have me.


	18. Primordial

I told you that you are the universe waking up and stars being born; you hold more than a single galaxy in your hands, but all the cosmos in your soul. You’re the heavens divine with those crystalline eyes; you’re nebulas in your smile, space dust in your bones; my essence comes from your existence, thank you for breathing into me life.


	19. Glass

I am not the kind of person  
Someone falls in love with.  
My soul was made cracked and bruised.  
There are shards missing  
And people try to fill the holes;  
But what they don’t understand  
Is that they are puzzle pieces,  
Not broken glass,  
And I cannot ask them to cut themselves  
Fixing me.  
But what about you?  
Are you a puzzle piece,  
Or are you made of glass too?


	20. Lost

The people I have loved  
Have never been easy to love.  
You see,  
I’m not used to “normal.”  
I’m used to trainwrecks,  
Cataclysms, time bombs,  
A mental decay;  
I’m used to disaster.  
That’s why I’m so scared of you.  
Because you,   
oh you beautiful thing,  
you are sunstorms  
and clear skies.  
You are warm windy days  
and children’s laughter.  
You are the phrase  
“happily ever after”  
and you are so, so easy  
to fall in love with.  
You’re terrifying  
because you’re so wonderful.

What am I supposed to do?  
I have no clue how to love you.


	21. Adoration

I love you more than I can ever describe. You’re everything to me and without you I cannot survive. Darling, you’re my heartbeat, my liveliness, my soul. Beloved, without you here, I am nothing, I am not whole.

The words do not exist, that can tell you how I feel. To show is the only way, and even that cannot capture the appeal. I love you, I love you, te amo-ti; you are the only one in the universe for me.


End file.
